I think I need a vacation from stress. I am a bit of a stress magnet/stress sponge. When people around me are upset or mad or agitated, I can’t turn it off and end up sucking it in. This results in me being stressed, upset or agitated, and in a lot of cases this isn’t something that directly affects me, or anything I can even do anything about anyhow. It’s not productive to be like this but I don’t know how to stop it. A term I have heard is emotional vampire, but I don’t think that applies, because I don’t need or want to be drawn into these sorts of situations.
Work is going ok I suppose. I have an office, but I can’t move in until it gets cleared out. My furniture is supposed to arrive on Wednesday, and I have made some progress on sorting out teaching space and all that kind of stuff.
However, there is a miasma over the department. One colleague lost a lot of important documents and no one seems to be able to track and trace them. She’s been getting the runaround, and I know she is trying to keep it together, but she is really showing the strain. I feel so badly for her, because I consider her a friend and she is going through hell right now.
This miasma has stretched and touched just about everyone in the department. Tempers are short, people are very upset and very affected and disrupted by this flood. I would almost say that we need a counsellor in, it is that bad.
In other news, I did something really stupid this afternoon. It was so stupid I am still boggled that I actually did something so stupid.
I ran into my former officemate, L. and she offered me a ride home. I rode in to work in the morning rain, and got fairly damp. The thought of getting back into my damp clothing and riding home in grit and drizzle wasn’t too appealing, so this ride was really appreciated.
I went to get my bike while she finished up her errands and as I stooped down to unlock my bike I thought “remember to hold onto the U-lock part” but I didn’t, I just unlocked the lock.
Upon the sharp crisp click of the lock tumbler releasing, a higher, slithery note briefly sounded, as the U-lock portion slid through the rear spokes and fork of my bike and landed 30ft down over the side in a tangle of weeds by the river. I leaned over the railing in shock, and stupidly gaped at the result of my inattention.
I was left in a quandary. Do I leave all my stuff by my bike and race down the steps and around under the bridge to get that part of the lock? Do I haul my bike and pannier and everything down the steps with me, and then back up and around to the archaeology centre?
I finally decided after abour 5 minutes of blithering indecision to leave my bike leaning against the railing, but to keep my seat, helmet and pannier over my shoulder as I hot footed it down the many tiny wet shallow slick treacherous leaf-covered stairs, peeled around the corner, ducked under the bridge pylons, and then tramped in the weeds until I found the stupid lock piece. Then I ran back to my bike.
I know I am stressed when I start doing really dumb things.